Here I sit this morning, feeling as though I have gotten nowhere in 54 years.
Is this self-pity, suffering, and a lack of mindfulness? Of course it is!
But I want you to be aware that I have not reached some elevated state of Buddhist practice. Actually, I want to be aware!
You see I am sometimes happy, sometimes sad, sometimes angry, and often times lacking in any mindfulness whatsoever.
Sometimes I am frustrated that I have lived so long, and learned so very little.
But I refuse to believe that it is too late for me to learn.
That being said, I see more and more clearly that I cling to my old ways and perceptions. It seems as though I have soldered some of these connections in my mind.
But I know that solder can be melted, and the connection broken. So I proceed every day to try and melt these delusions that I see as hard-wired to my brain.
If you could not tell this by my previous posts, I hope that this post will shine a light on that inner struggle.
Perhaps some of you reading this share this struggle. And I hope that by sharing my struggle with you, we can help each other. I think this is part of being a community.
I genuinely have love and compassion for you, and I can feel the love you have for me.
Thank you so much for this.
So perhaps my struggle lies in the fact that I have a great desire to learn and grow. And since we all know that desire is the cause of suffering, I end up right back where I started. Argh!
Well, today is a new day. I will start over again. Mindful that I have desire, mindful that I struggle, mindful that I love you, mindful that you love me. May we all be at peace and in harmony.
Let’s see how it works out! :)
May you be well, happy and peaceful.
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“Jealousy, anger, ill will, craving, impatience, stinginess and other unwholesome thoughts will definitely create a dark, wild inner atmosphere and culture of violence in human mind.
When one mindfully and deeply contemplates on that innermost situation, one can feel and recognize what the suffering is. When one associates with unpleasant thoughts, one’s mind will become very unpleasant and atrocious, simultaneously this person will make others unpleasant and suffer too.
That is why the human society is always in conflict. One should be very mindful of human guide lines – five precepts which should not be violated in daily life.
Not only observing and following them but also cultivating and practicing of their positive facts such as loving kindness, compassion, generosity, sharing, respecting others, truthfulness, practicing and developing mindfulness is the real path to peace.
This way of life guides oneself to innermost happiness and genuine peace as well as others may be free from fear, danger, insecurity and suffering.”
