While it may seem counter to everything we know and think about love, I believe that we all need to learn to love less.
Loving less is to eliminate the fog that conceals the deepest heart of the word.
Not only do we use the word as an adjective to most everything in our lives, but we use it in so many ways that it becomes almost useless in conveying the actual meaning. An example would be to say that I love french fries, and I also love you. What’s the difference between you and a french fry?
Loving less is to love with less attachment. Which is not to say without purity and deepest compassion, but without ownership or possessiveness. And as we let go of this possessiveness, one can begin to see the vastly deep and powerful connection that transcends not only here and now, but also life and death. An example here being the love of a deceased parent, partner, child or family pet. Love did not cease to exist for them because they are not physically here with you any longer. That love still exists as strongly as ever, but no without boundaries of space or time. Observing this in your own life is a wonderful way to begin understanding how less is more.
Loving less is also to love without expectation. Which is possibly even more difficult for most of us to do. While it’s easy to say, it is far harder to practice. For those that we love whom are still among us, we can often get easily hurt because of these expectations. Some of which are so small and insignificant, but because they are attached to love, we compound the gravity of these misgivings exponentially. Hence, when there is no expectation there is also liberation for both the love and the one who is loved. Love becomes deeper and unconstrained, accepting and encouraging.
Loving less is to love without guidelines or rules. No approved or disapproved words, actions or behaviors. Which becomes much more easily accomplished as we remove the attachment and expectations. Beginning to see our loved ones as perfect in being who they are, exactly as they are. Whether they are with us or move away from us, the love is distilled into pure compassionate intentions and blessings.
Loving less is to open our hearts beyond conventional wisdom and encompassing all living beings. Filled with kindness, gratitude, compassion and highest virtue, we let go of all that would otherwise limit our hearts capacity to truly love.
And as always, it is always best to begin with ourselves. Accepting ourselves just the way we are without any of the unnecessary baggage that we unwittingly carry most of the time.
We can each start today to view love a little differently. And at least think about the word when we use it, often so carelessly and so frequently. Love is the most powerful force in the universe, and we all have an abundant capacity to give and receive it.