I often feel as though my practice takes one step forward, then two steps back. This can be a little frustrating at times because I am not always quite sure what is causing this phenomenon.
Recently, it was discovered that I had a spot of basal cell cancer on my face. I had this once before about twenty-five years ago. But this was a new spot in a different location, and seemed like a very tiny dot near the side of my nose. Once the surgery began, the amount that the Doctor had to remove ended-up being incredibly large and deep. And were it not for her skillful work, I would likely have been left looking very disfigured from this event.
But seven stitches closed me right up to were the wound is now barely noticeable. But below the surface, I am fully aware that the cancer has been uprooted and removed.
I liken this experience to my practice in many ways. Each day of mindfulness, meditation, and skillfulness, are the ways in which I remove these poisons from my mind. The cancers, that if left unchecked will only grow deeper and deeper. And just like this surgery, there are times that are painful and I feel as though I am physically unhealthy. But in so many other ways I know that my body is actually getting healthier because of my practice. Eating organically and Vegan has had so many benefits to my body, all of which are cumulatively benefiting my body day by day.
And this too is the way that I feel my practice benefits my mind. Moment by moment I am developing and cultivating more loving-kindness, compassion, acceptance and goodwill.
So while there are many times that I feel I am taking a step backwards, I have become increasingly aware of the accretive result that my practice offers.
And while it is true that not all cancers can be as easily removed as mine, we must understand that the cancers of our mind can always be annihilated.
Today I remain grateful for this body and mind, and that I am able to live this life mindfully and joyfully. And may I do so with humility and selflessness, that I may be of benefit to all living beings.
My blessings to each of you.
